Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Bachelor Recap: When Good Relationships Die


Last night on The Bachelor, four lucky women brought Brad Womack home to meet their families across this nation. Three will accompany him to South Africa.
It was quite the two-hour episode, featuring a trip to the mortuary, an awkward date with Emily's daughter and plenty of slice-of-life moments for ol' Brad.
How did last night play out? Who's going on to the final destination and whose trip home turned out to be one-way? Here's THG's trademark +/- recap!
Brad Womack: Bachelor
With no time in the mansion and no Michelle Money, that means no festering drama or cat fights this week. Plus 5. But also Minus 4, 'cause we miss you Michelle.
Minus 3 for the random, unexplained stop in New York.
Date #1 goes to Chantal O'Brien, who The Bachelor spoilers seem to think has a good chance of winning this thing. Plus 6, because you can absolutely see why.
If Brad Womack ever appears like he's natural or semi-normal, it's with Chantal.Plus 7. When they discuss moving in together, you know she has a leg up.
Minus 8 for the obligatory running toward each other, though. This is a Bachelor hometown staple ... not unlike the obligatory use of the word "hometown."
Plus 7 for Chantal's Cougar-iffic mom, for her laid-back dad and for the house that Brad calls "nice" but is in reality nicer than The Bachelor L.A. mansion.
We're falling pretty hard for Maine girl Ashley Hebert. Madawaska is a places you would never see on TV, but don't you just want to go there now? Plus 12.
Something about Brad's mannerisms suggests he can't handle Maine or anyplace with authentic small-town culture. It just feels so unnatural. Minus 5.
Ashley Hebert PictureChantal O'Brien PhotoEmily Maynard Picture
The Hebert family are either high on coke, speed, or life, because these people are giddy about ... everything. A bit uncomfortable, but genuine. Plus 6.
Ashley's mom thinks that Brad has a sparkle in his eye. It's probably just whatever cocktail of sedatives ABC has him taking, but it's a nice sentiment. Plus 4.
You could tell from the moment he walked in the mortuary that Shawntel Newton had no shot. Minus 9, because Brad is unnecessarily creeped out by her job.
Being a mortician is a bit unusual, but this girl is so grounded, nice and career-focused. Plus 6, in hopes she finds a better catch than this stiff (pun intended).
The nail in the coffin (sorry again) is when Shawntel insists she can leave Chico. But, like The OC's Ryan Atwood, we know it's easier said than done. Minus 5.
Yes, we know that was Chino and not Chico, but Plus 3 if you caught that.
Minus 5 because the girls always say "Brad and I's relationship." Really?

The Bachelor Rose Ceremony: Final Four
Finally, Brad heads to Charlotte, N.C., where Emily Maynard reunites with her cute little girl, Rickie, introducing her to a cyborg and a camera crew. Minus 6.
Brad gets Plus 5 for trying on this date, 'cause Rickie is a tough crowd.
"This is a fun room." With these words spoken inside Rickie's little castle, it becomes clear Brad is far from stepdad material. Advantage Chantal O. Minus 8.
Plus 7 for Brad not wanting to make out with Emily while Rickie sleeps, and Plus 6more for Emily showing some spunk and taking control of the situation.
Brad after axing Shawntel: "Have a seat. Do you mind? Do you need this? Can I walk you down. Please. Come here. To me. Please." SO awkward. Minus 11.
TOTAL: +10. SEASON TOTAL: +69.
ROSE RECIPIENTS: Ashley Hebert, Chantal O’Brien and Emily Maynard.
OUT: Shawntel Newton.
Who do you want to win?
Ashley Hebert
Chantal O'Brien
Emily Maynard
 View Results

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